What's in a name?

I am 21 weeks into my pregnancy, feeling this little guy twirling around in my belly, and he remains nameless. Not through any fault of my own I might add. My hubby refuses to agree with me on any name. If I like it, it's automatically a bad name. I am gonna have to start playin some games here to get this child named! I know I have another 19 weeks, but have I mentioned that I am anal retentive?? That means I have no patience. I need my son named NOW!

My OB said you never throw out the name you really want first. It's a negotiation. The first name you say will always be thrown out. So, basically I need to weaken my husband's defenses with a bunch of horrible names and then the one I really like will sound like heaven to him! Maybe I should call the FBI and see how they handle hostage negotiations. Their tactics may be suitable here.

My husband is stubborn. He wants a country western name. Hello, I am half Kuwaiti. Does that sound like I want a coutry western name? Hell no! I want an arabic inspired name. So, in order to compromise we must find an arabic-country name. Any suggestions? Muhammed Billybob? That has quite a lovely ring to it, don't you agree?

As you can see, these first time parents to be need some HELP! When I signed up for this parenting gig, I did not anticipate that my husband would have input. That's the flaw to the plan.

Well, I guess one of us will have to crack under the pressure and I'll be damned if it's gonna be me!

We cracked!

After months and months of debate, hubby and I cracked under the pressure. We had discussed back and forth whether or not to find out the sex of the baby. Yes, it would be loverly to be surprised at the moment of delivery, but no matter when you find out, you are still going to be surprised. We were both on the fence. He was leaning towards not knowing and me, of course, I was leaning towards, "TELL ME!"

Today we had our ultrasound. The sonographer asked us upfront if we wanted to know. We both just looked at eachother and said, "I don't care, whatever you want." Oh, I know what I wanted, but I didn't want the guilt of finding out when hubby still was looking for a surprise. After about 20 minutes of looking at our little baby on the screen, the sonographer asked us again. We HAD to know now! And............

It's a baby BOY! We are so excited! My husband comes from a family of all boys, so he was pretty convinced he could only produce male children. Regretfully, I must utter these words that I will never say again...he was, gulp, right. Well, let me qualify that, he was right...this time!

So now I can indulge in gender specific items for my lil' man! I can't wait!!

It has begun

I've been told that there is a known phenomenon that occurs the last few weeks of pregnancy known as nesting. This is a time when the mommy-to-be cleans like a maniac to get everything perfect for the lil' one on it's way.

Well, for me, the anal retentive, type A, planner, OCD personality, it has begun. I am on a mission to get my house in order before this child comes out. We have so much to do and so little time to do it with, we must start now. So now, I have to turn my laid back, "it'll get done," husband into a fixer upper freak like me!

Not to mention the fact that I have to continue my working like crazy to obtain all of the money neccessary for these renovations.

At least it keeps my mind off all my worries of having a baby with toxoplasmosis or some other birth defect. I tell you, this parent-to-be stuff is full of anxiety! Not to mention the complete thrill of having a little baby growing inside!

Wish me luck!

Heart to heart

Monday was my 12 week doctor appointment. It was the most amazing appointment ever. We heard the heart beat for the first time! It was the most amazing, best sound I have ever heard. I did not even want the doctor to take the doppler off my belly; I just wanted to keep listening. I wish I could listen to it all the time. It was absoluetely exciting and fantastic. It makes all the nausea, headaches, fatique, etc, etc worth it. It's all happening for a pretty damn good reason. I can't wait for my next appointment so that I can listen to it again. It was so soothing and wonderful.

With that being said, these hormonal changes are killing me. Some days I feel absolutely confident about life, having a baby, and everything that comes along with it. And then there are the days where I am completely terrified and wondering if I am capable of this monstrous change. I get so scared that the baby won't be healthy or that I can't provide for it. But if Nicole Richie can give birth to a healthy baby when she was a drug addict, then shouldn't I be able to being that I am not on drugs?

Plus the crying spells...those have got to go. I have cried watching freakin America's Next Top Model. Not to mention that I pretty much cry during every movie that I watch lately. It is absolutely ridiculous. I usually NEVER cry. Not for anything. Not these days though. I have probably had a good cry once a day for the last 12 weeks. How do I still have any water left in my body?

Being pregnant really is an awesome experience. However, it does come with a lot of worries and changes that I wasn't completely expecting. I guess you never know how your body is going to react to these situations. Just gotta sit back and enjoy the ride.

But, damn, hearing that heartbeat...amazing.

Crazy lady blogging

This pregnancy stuff has heightened my OCD thoughts to a new level. I'm one of those people who will get some crazy idea in their head and then just think about it over and over and over until I drive myself crazy. For example, I'm sitting here eating McDonald's. Not good for the morning sickness, but I covered myself with zofran. Is that wrong? Anyway, I'm eating a filet o fish...yum! Of course I take a bite, and it doesn't have a bad taste, just different; a little fishier than usual. So now I'm sitting here convinced that I will be dying of some fish disease by later this evening. Yea, as I've mentioned previously, I have issues.

Anyway, I psycho obsessively check to make sure that my boobies are still sore and that my nausea is still in swing, because I read that when a miscarriage happens, the pregnancy symptoms disappear. Now that I've read that little tid bit of information, I can't stop thinking about the possibility. When I first found out I was pregnant I convinced myself that it was one of those pregnancies where an empty egg implants. Actually, I read that in a book also. Maybe I should stop reading.

Anyway, has anyone ever actually wished for their nausea to be more severe so that you could be certain your baby was still alive? Yesterday, I barely had any nausea at all. The week before, it was horrible. I couldn't even eat popsicles. And now, I'm eating McDonald's. So, why the change? Is that bad? My nausea today does seem to be back in swing, but who knows. I could be making myself sick just to prove a point.

I was hoping not to pass my neuroses (sp?) on to my child, but I think it may be inevitable. I feel like the baby can hear all my thoughts and knows that it's momma is crazy. It's probably thinking, "what the hell did I get myself into?!"

Finally!

It has been so long since I last posted and so much has happened! I finally found out that I am preggers! It is so exciting! I found out about 2 weeks ago. I decided to pee on the stick for shits and giggles. My boobs were sore and huge, so I thought what else could it be? Of course, I did not think I was actually pregnant! When I saw that second pink line appear I almost fainted! At first I was pissed because I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But after 2 blood tests and two ultrasounds, I can say that I am REALLY pregnant!

Yesterday was our first official ultrasound. I am six weeks along and we were able to see the heart beat! It was beating at 122 beats per minute! It was the coolest, wierdest thing I have ever experienced. Not too mention exciting! It is completely unbelievable! And there is only one in there, in case you were wondering. I am feeling guilty about my teen years and all the drama I put my parents through, because at one point I know they were really excited to see my heart beat, and then I turned into a little brat! Luckily, I grew out of it, but I still feel bad.

My due date is July 20, 2008. Part of me feels like it'll never get here, and on the other hand I know it's gonna fly by! I know it's extremely early, but so far everything is going as it should! I have the worst morning sickness! I cannot even eat a popscicle without dry heaving. But, I must say that Zofran is my savior! My doctor gave me some to try and even though I am still nauseated, I can actually get out of bed today. I feel slightly guilty for calling into work today, being that my nausea is better, but oh well. I'll make up the hours!

Yay for clomid!

Six pounds and non the richer...

I was reminiscing about my last year and a half of marriage and came to some startling conclusions:

First, the "lesses:"

1. I clean less. I know it sounds like I live in a pig stye, but let me clarify. I hired a cleaning lady, who is also my best friend; it's a win win situation. I just don't want to do it anymore. Is that so wrong?

2. I shave less. I went from shaving every 1-2 days to shaving every 1-2 weeks. Um, I know that sounds a little gross, and you are probably thinking "your poor husband, layin next to hairy legs, and pits," but, really, I think it's better for me to not shave as much. The hair is softer when it's longer...

3. I cook less. Ok, I must admit, I didn't really cook prior to marriage per se, but now I can pretty much say, I don't cook at all.

4. I exercise less. Ok, I didn't exactly exercise prior to marriage either. But, I probably averaged swimming some laps 2-3 times per week. Which kept me in decent shape. Now, I probably swim 1-2 times every 1-2 months. This leads me into my "mores."

I eat more. This has led me to gain SIX pounds. SIX. Now, I know that may not sound like that much, but let me fill you in on my stature. I am 5 foot 1 inch, with chicken legs, and monster boobs. All my weight goes to my boobs and belly. I literally look like an apple. Very attractive.

I have more dirty clothes. The laundry seems to have doubled since marriage. Or maybe, I don't wash my clothes as much. My closets are usually empty before I'll throw a load in.

My refrigerator is more empty. I go to the grocery store about once a month. Yea, it's all connected.

My wallet is more empty. I budget money fabulously. Hubby, on the other hand? Not so much. He thinks that when he swipes the debit card there's magical money that just appears. It doesn't matter how many actual dollars are in the account, in his mind, there's endless funds. So, he runs out of money, and as a result, my wallet is a little lighter.

Ummm. I think that about sums it up.